For preachers, teachers, speakers, and listeners alike. From Divine Word Seminary, Tagaytay City, Philippines
Friday, October 28, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Sickness only in the mind
There was this missionary who suddenly thought he had difficulty in breathing. So asked to be brought to the hospital, four hour drive from the village he was working and the roads were bad. But there was an ambulance in that village that could transport him. So with an oxygen mask on him, he was brought to the hospital. His fellow missionary kept on asking him if he is alright and the missionary said his breathing is much better now with the oxygen. After the grueling trip the group finally arrived at the hospital. When the nurses checked on him, they found out, to everyone's laughter, that the oxygen tank was not turned on.
Again, there was this priest who was a bit obsessed of his illness that he kept on returning to the hospital even if the doctors say he has no major health problems. One early dawn he woke up the driver to bring him to the hospital as he felt a difficulty in breathing. In the hospital the doctor asked him what's wrong. The priest held his his right breast and complained that there is something wrong with his heart. The doctor, to his surprise, said, "I think nothing is wrong with you, Father. Our heart is on the left side!
Again, there was this priest who was a bit obsessed of his illness that he kept on returning to the hospital even if the doctors say he has no major health problems. One early dawn he woke up the driver to bring him to the hospital as he felt a difficulty in breathing. In the hospital the doctor asked him what's wrong. The priest held his his right breast and complained that there is something wrong with his heart. The doctor, to his surprise, said, "I think nothing is wrong with you, Father. Our heart is on the left side!
Pineapples
It is said that the pineapple is a special fruit; it is not from the family of pine nor from apple. But it has many eyes. And it should always be in a fruit salad because with it, all the fruits in the salad bring out the best in them.
Moral: Be a pineapple with others.
Moral: Be a pineapple with others.
How pineapples came to be
Alamat ng Pinya:
Sa isang malayong nayon nakatira ang mag-inang si Aling Osang at si Pina na kaisa-isang anak. Palibhasa bugtong na anak, hindi ito pinagagawa ng ina at sa halip siya ang nagtatrabaho ng lahat ng gawaing bahay. Ang katuwiran ng ina ay "maliit pa naman si Pina." Marahil ay paglumaki na ay gagawa rin siya. Ang tanging gawain lang ni Pina ay maglaro at matulog.
Nais na sana ng ina na turuan ang anak na gumawa, ngunit naging ugali na ni Pina ang katamaran. Kaya sa malimit na pangyayari, hindi na mautusan ng ina ang anak, palibhasa’y ina kaya matiisin. Kung ayaw magtrabaho ng anak, siya na ang gumagawa.
Hanggang isang araw si Aling Osang ay nagkasakit at halos nakahiga na lamang. "Naku! ang nanay ko! Inay bakit ka nagkasakit?" ang tanong ni Pina. "Ewan ko nga ba," ang wika ng ina, sabay utos na ipaglugaw sya nito. Sinunod naman nito ang utos ng ina at sa ilang saglit ay inihain na ito ni Pina, ito ay mapait sapagkat ito’y sunog. Ganun pa man ay natuwa na rin ang ina dahil kahit papaano siya’y napagsilbihan ng anak.
Tumagal ang sakit ni Aling Osang ngunit nagrereklamo na si Pina na pagod na sya sa paglilingkod sa ina.
Isang umaga, si Pina’y nagluto ngunit hindi makita ang sandok. "Saan kaya naroroon ang sandok?" ang sambit nito.
"Hanapin mo, naririyan lamang yan," ang sagot ng ina.
"Kanina pa nga ako hanap ng hanap eh! Talagang wala!" ang muling sabi ng anak.
"Bakit ba hindi ka na lang magkaroon ng maraming mata ng makita mo ang hinahanap mo! Ito talagang anak ko, walang katiyaga-tiyaga," ang sabi ng ina.
"Marami naman kayong sinasabi" ang wika ng anak sabay panaog. Marahil ay hahanapin niya ang sandok sa silong at baka nahulog.
Lumipas ang mga oras ngunit hindi na nakabalik si Pina sa itaas. Nawala siya na parang bula na naglaho at walang nakakita sa kanya kahit kapitbahay. Ilang araw ang nakaraan sa tulong at awa ay gumaling na si Aling Osang. Hinanap ng ina ang anak ngunit talagang hindi na nakita.
Isang araw, sa may bakuran ay mataman na nagwalis si Aling Osang. Laking gulat niya ng makita nito ang tumubong halaman sa malapit sa kanilang tarangkahan. Dinilig niya ito at inalagaan araw-araw. Di nagtagal at nagkaroon ng bunga. Napansin niya ito at tila maraming mata. Tuloy naalala nito ang sinabi niya sa kanyang anak. At bigla na lang nawala ang kanyang mahal na anak ng mga sandaling iyon.
Sa isang malayong nayon nakatira ang mag-inang si Aling Osang at si Pina na kaisa-isang anak. Palibhasa bugtong na anak, hindi ito pinagagawa ng ina at sa halip siya ang nagtatrabaho ng lahat ng gawaing bahay. Ang katuwiran ng ina ay "maliit pa naman si Pina." Marahil ay paglumaki na ay gagawa rin siya. Ang tanging gawain lang ni Pina ay maglaro at matulog.
Nais na sana ng ina na turuan ang anak na gumawa, ngunit naging ugali na ni Pina ang katamaran. Kaya sa malimit na pangyayari, hindi na mautusan ng ina ang anak, palibhasa’y ina kaya matiisin. Kung ayaw magtrabaho ng anak, siya na ang gumagawa.
Hanggang isang araw si Aling Osang ay nagkasakit at halos nakahiga na lamang. "Naku! ang nanay ko! Inay bakit ka nagkasakit?" ang tanong ni Pina. "Ewan ko nga ba," ang wika ng ina, sabay utos na ipaglugaw sya nito. Sinunod naman nito ang utos ng ina at sa ilang saglit ay inihain na ito ni Pina, ito ay mapait sapagkat ito’y sunog. Ganun pa man ay natuwa na rin ang ina dahil kahit papaano siya’y napagsilbihan ng anak.
Tumagal ang sakit ni Aling Osang ngunit nagrereklamo na si Pina na pagod na sya sa paglilingkod sa ina.
Isang umaga, si Pina’y nagluto ngunit hindi makita ang sandok. "Saan kaya naroroon ang sandok?" ang sambit nito.
"Hanapin mo, naririyan lamang yan," ang sagot ng ina.
"Kanina pa nga ako hanap ng hanap eh! Talagang wala!" ang muling sabi ng anak.
"Bakit ba hindi ka na lang magkaroon ng maraming mata ng makita mo ang hinahanap mo! Ito talagang anak ko, walang katiyaga-tiyaga," ang sabi ng ina.
"Marami naman kayong sinasabi" ang wika ng anak sabay panaog. Marahil ay hahanapin niya ang sandok sa silong at baka nahulog.
Lumipas ang mga oras ngunit hindi na nakabalik si Pina sa itaas. Nawala siya na parang bula na naglaho at walang nakakita sa kanya kahit kapitbahay. Ilang araw ang nakaraan sa tulong at awa ay gumaling na si Aling Osang. Hinanap ng ina ang anak ngunit talagang hindi na nakita.
Isang araw, sa may bakuran ay mataman na nagwalis si Aling Osang. Laking gulat niya ng makita nito ang tumubong halaman sa malapit sa kanilang tarangkahan. Dinilig niya ito at inalagaan araw-araw. Di nagtagal at nagkaroon ng bunga. Napansin niya ito at tila maraming mata. Tuloy naalala nito ang sinabi niya sa kanyang anak. At bigla na lang nawala ang kanyang mahal na anak ng mga sandaling iyon.
Wise Donkey
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Wiseman
An Indian man walks into the New York City bank
and asks for the loan officer. He tells the Loan Officer that he was going to India
for some business for 2 weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need
Some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man hands over the keys and the
documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the
street in front of the bank. The loan officer consults the president of the bank,
Produces all the required items and everything
check out to be OK. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a
security for the loan. The bank president and the Loan Officer had a
good laugh at the Indian
For keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and
taking only $5,000 has a loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari
Into the banks underground garage and parks it
there. Two weeks later the Indian returns and pays
$5000 and the interest which comes to it $15.41. Seeing this, loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have your business
And this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you are away, we checked you out and
Found out that you were a multi millionaire. What puzzled us was why would you bother to
borrow $5000?” The Indian replies
"Where else in the New York City can I park my
car for 2 weeks and
For only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
return".
This is a true incident and the Indian is none other than... "VIJAY MALL
and asks for the loan officer. He tells the Loan Officer that he was going to India
for some business for 2 weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000. The Loan Officer tells him that the bank will need
Some form of security for the loan. So the Indian man hands over the keys and the
documents of the new Ferrari car parked on the
street in front of the bank. The loan officer consults the president of the bank,
Produces all the required items and everything
check out to be OK. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as a
security for the loan. The bank president and the Loan Officer had a
good laugh at the Indian
For keeping a $750,000 Ferrari as a security and
taking only $5,000 has a loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari
Into the banks underground garage and parks it
there. Two weeks later the Indian returns and pays
$5000 and the interest which comes to it $15.41. Seeing this, loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have your business
And this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you are away, we checked you out and
Found out that you were a multi millionaire. What puzzled us was why would you bother to
borrow $5000?” The Indian replies
"Where else in the New York City can I park my
car for 2 weeks and
For only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
return".
This is a true incident and the Indian is none other than... "VIJAY MALL
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Life is short
A woman was hospitalized for her serious illness. While being operated on, a voice said, "You will not die. You will live for 30 more years."
Delighted, after the operation, the woman decided to have a facelift, liposuction/fat reduction, and breast augmentation. Excited, she left the hospital to go home when suddenly she was hit by a speeding ambulance.
With her last breath, she said, "I thought I would live for 30 years more!"
A voice replied: "Sorry, I did not recognize you."
Delighted, after the operation, the woman decided to have a facelift, liposuction/fat reduction, and breast augmentation. Excited, she left the hospital to go home when suddenly she was hit by a speeding ambulance.
With her last breath, she said, "I thought I would live for 30 years more!"
A voice replied: "Sorry, I did not recognize you."
Jonah
Sa isang nursing home may relihiyosang matanda na araw-araw nagbabasa ng Bibliya. Tinanong siya ng nag-aalagang nurse.
Nurse: "Lola, naniniwala talaga kayo sa lahat ng nakasulat diyan?"
Lola: "Oo naman, Bibliya to eh,"
Nurse: "Pati dun sa taong nilunok ng malaking isda?"
Lola: "Oo naman, nakasulat sa Bibliya eh."
Nurse: "Pano kaya siya nakasurvive ng ganon katagal sa tiyan ng isda?"
Lola: "Ewan ko siguro isang araw kung nasa langit na ako tatanungin ko siya."
Nurse: "Eh kung wala siya sa langit?"
Lola: "Eh di tanungin mo siya."
Nurse: "Lola, naniniwala talaga kayo sa lahat ng nakasulat diyan?"
Lola: "Oo naman, Bibliya to eh,"
Nurse: "Pati dun sa taong nilunok ng malaking isda?"
Lola: "Oo naman, nakasulat sa Bibliya eh."
Nurse: "Pano kaya siya nakasurvive ng ganon katagal sa tiyan ng isda?"
Lola: "Ewan ko siguro isang araw kung nasa langit na ako tatanungin ko siya."
Nurse: "Eh kung wala siya sa langit?"
Lola: "Eh di tanungin mo siya."
Saint
Isang pari na sa sobrang busy ay nakakaligtaan nang magreview ng buhay ng mga santo ang nagmisa sa isang baryo para sa pista rito.
Pari: Itong inyong patron ay... nabuhay ng marangal sa harap ng Diyos at tao. Naging mabuting kabiyak sa kanyang asawa at... naging mabuting ina sa kanyang mga anak, at mabait sa kapwa.. Ahh.. sino ulit siya na patron ninyo rito?
Ale: Padre, SANTA CRUZ po.
from katolikong pinoy:
Pari: Itong inyong patron ay... nabuhay ng marangal sa harap ng Diyos at tao. Naging mabuting kabiyak sa kanyang asawa at... naging mabuting ina sa kanyang mga anak, at mabait sa kapwa.. Ahh.. sino ulit siya na patron ninyo rito?
Ale: Padre, SANTA CRUZ po.
from katolikong pinoy:
Death wish
A religious Filipina woman who married abroad lies dying in a hospital. After receiving the last Rites, she called her husband
MRS: Honey, do not cremate my body, it is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
MR: Okay.
MRS: And bury me in my hometown in the Philippines.
MR: Okay.
MRS: And please do not put RIP in my grave. My kababayans might think I died as a victim of rip (rape)
MR: Okay honey.
MRS: Put instead SUS GINOO.
MR: What does it mean honey?
MRS. It means "See You Soon Lord."
MR: Okay, that's better. I'm sure your fellow countrymen will understand it.
From Katolikong Pinoy
MRS: Honey, do not cremate my body, it is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
MR: Okay.
MRS: And bury me in my hometown in the Philippines.
MR: Okay.
MRS: And please do not put RIP in my grave. My kababayans might think I died as a victim of rip (rape)
MR: Okay honey.
MRS: Put instead SUS GINOO.
MR: What does it mean honey?
MRS. It means "See You Soon Lord."
MR: Okay, that's better. I'm sure your fellow countrymen will understand it.
From Katolikong Pinoy
Liham mula sa Diyos
Isang araw, tiningnan ng Diyos ang mundo at nakita niya na masyadong masama na ito. Pinadala niya ang isang maliit na anghel para inspeksyunin ang mundo. Bumalik ang anghel at sinabi sa Diyos: Oo nga po, ansama na. 95% ang masama, 5% ang mabait.
Hindi nakuntento, pinadala ng Diyos ang isang malaking anghel para mag-inspeksyon. Bumalik ang anghel at sinabi: Siyanga po, ansama na, 95% ang masama at 5% ang mabait.
Hindi na maganda to, sabi ng Diyos. Kaya naisip niyang magpadala ng liham sa 5% na mabait para palakasin ang loob nila. Alam mo ba ang nakasulat sa liham?
Wala ka rin bang natanggap?
From Katolikong Pinoy (3):
Hindi nakuntento, pinadala ng Diyos ang isang malaking anghel para mag-inspeksyon. Bumalik ang anghel at sinabi: Siyanga po, ansama na, 95% ang masama at 5% ang mabait.
Hindi na maganda to, sabi ng Diyos. Kaya naisip niyang magpadala ng liham sa 5% na mabait para palakasin ang loob nila. Alam mo ba ang nakasulat sa liham?
Wala ka rin bang natanggap?
From Katolikong Pinoy (3):
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